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I'm a 40-year-old lesbian in Alabama, and I work with a woman I find impossible to resist.

The catch is she's 66, straight, and has two children.

Can't Think Of A Clever Acronym Burn it down, CTOACA.

Call or e-mail your partner's old friend and tell him you think he's a pushy, unpleasant, smelly asshole and that you don't want to hang out with him—not at his place, not on a trip, and not at your wedding, which he not only won't be officiating but, if you had your druthers, he wouldn't be attending. You can't tell your soon-to-be wife who she can't have as a friend—that's controlling behavior—but she can't force you to spend time with someone you loathe.

The odd thing is that she vacillates between heavily making out with me every time we are alone together and saying, "No, I can't, I'm straight!

" Why does she do everything but sex if she's straight?

So don't let the lack of older women on dating apps prevent you from putting yourself out there on apps and elsewhere, ELDER.

As for your rookie status, there are two examples of lesbians pining over rookies in this very column!

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He also wants to officiate at our upcoming wedding!He handed it back to the waitress and told her that he is not going to pay for this piss.

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